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Girls with Asperger's Syndrome

Gender Differences in Behavior and Social Interaction

Apr 4, 2008 Jennifer Copley

Girls with Asperger's Syndrome and other autism spectrum disorders may be underdiagnosed because their social deficits are not as conspicuous.

Although there are 4 boys for every girl diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), high-functioning girls with autistic spectrum disorders may not be as easy to recognize due to a number of differences in their social interactions and behavior. This results from the fact that girls are more inclined to adopt effective strategies to hide their differences in social situations.

Invisibility Strategies

Girls with AS are adept at disappearing within a large group, staying safely at the periphery without really interacting socially. When they do participate, they may be at risk for bullying by other girls.

While male bullies are more likely to engage in physical aggression, female bullies tend to use relational aggression strategies, such as making comments designed to tarnish the reputations of others. Because they are less inclined to be “bitchy” or “fickle” in their interactions and so have no defense against relational aggression, girls with AS are often befriended by at least one kind, socially skilled girl who feels compassion for her naive companion. The establishment of one or more such friendships can make it appear as though the girl with AS has a “normal” social life. However, it is the other girl or girls who generally make the friendship overtures, and some girls with AS prefer to spend time with boys, as they are often more straightforward and thus send fewer confusing social signals.

Camouflaging Strategies

Girls with AS may appear to use ordinary gestures and facial expressions during a conversation and to reciprocate appropriately. However, in many cases they are basing these gestures, facial expressions and responses on someone they have observed who is socially adept. Additionally, they use their intellect rather than natural social intuition to choose the correct responses.

Due to the need to copy a more socially skilled individual in given situations, girls with AS will often wait quietly on the sidelines in new social situations until they learn the rules of the game, after which they are able to imitate the correct responses that other children have made. However, if the nature of the game changes the strategy fails, and the social deficits become apparent.

Seemingly Normal Interests

Autistic spectrum disorders are characterized by narrow, obsessive interests. Although boys who are obsessed with trains or bus schedules tend to stand out, there are few who question a young girl’s obsession with dolls, horses, or even building toys such as LEGO. However, a girl with AS who likes dolls will usually prefer to play with them alone rather than with other children. She will probably have a much larger collection than other girls, and she will spend time arranging them in various configurations (such as alphabetical order). She will have more interest in organizing and categorizing than creating social storylines for them.

Avoiding Physical Activities

Because girls are less inclined to engage in rough-and-tumble play, their difficulties with motor coordination may be less apparent. Girls with AS may avoid physical activities in which their motor skill deficits would be noticeable.

Anorexia Nervosa

Girls with AS may suffer from other disorders that mask the underlying problem. Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa are common among those with autism spectrum disorders. Up to 23% of all girls who suffer from anorexia also show signs of AS.

Those with autistic spectrum disorders may refuse foods that have particular textures, tastes or smells due to sensory hypersensitivity, or have unusual food preferences and meal or preparation routines. However, because eating disorders are so common among adolescent girls, they are rarely identified as problems related to AS.

Psychological Escape

Individuals with AS may escape into their imaginations, in some cases creating an entire imaginary world that is more hospitable than the one in which they find themselves. In such cases, the children simply appear creative or imaginative, and few suspect AS, particularly among girls.

Reactive Depression and Anxiety Disorders

Reacting to social difficulties, those with AS may lapse into depression in adolescence, becoming socially withdrawn and self-critical, or suffer from severe anxiety disorders. This depression or anxiety is caused by the conflict between the importance placed on social interaction and the child’s lack of social skills. However, because adolescents are prone to depression and anxiety, conditions which are more common in girls than boys after age 11, the underlying cause may not be identified.

Key Differences

Overall, girls are raised to be sociable, and as such, girls with AS tend to devote more effort to learning the required social cues and scripts. Girls will turn their considerable intellectual skills to the task of analysing social interactions and conventions. Additionally, they are less inclined to develop the conduct disorders that attract notice among boys with autism spectrum disorders.

Girls with Asperger’s Syndrome will in many cases come across as “little professors” in the same way that boys do, speaking in a pedantic manner, displaying an impressive vocabulary and talking obsessively on subjects of interest. However, due to their stronger social abilities, such behaviors in girls are more likely to be taken for general intelligence than as evidence of an autism spectrum disorder.

For more information on AS, see Tony Attwood’s The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndome and The Asperger’s Syndrome Foundation.

Related Articles:

References:

  • Attwood, T. (2007). The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, London.
  • Goleman,D. (10 May 1990). “Health Psychology: Why Girls are Prone to Depression.” The New York Times.

The copyright of the article Girls with Asperger's Syndrome in Autism/Asperger's Syndrome is owned by Jennifer Copley. Permission to republish Girls with Asperger's Syndrome in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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Comments

Dec 14, 2008 7:31 PM
Guest :
a little too brief, but great - i feel i can breathe deeper at last! thanks. any more info on this rare subject of female asperger's? ta!
Jan 13, 2009 2:22 AM
Guest :
I'm pretty sure i have asperger's, so this really helped me.
Thanks
May 3, 2009 1:21 PM
Guest :
i um.. don't know what to say......
do you know who to call if someone has this?
Jul 27, 2009 7:42 PM
Guest :
My daughter does not like to spend time alone and seeks attention more so than my son (positive and negative). She is anorexic, has high anxiety and is obsessive compulsive. A psychiatrist has brought up the posibility of Aspergers. She is 12 and is now very socially withdrawn(although this was not always the case).
I am very confused.
Sep 5, 2009 9:09 PM
Guest :
I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2000...but I'm 36 now. Oh no kidding boys are more straightforward...every single stinking one of them hated me for whatever reason and they made sure I knew it. And it wasn't like I was mean or anything. Therefore...no relationships. Not even a "just a friend" guy.
Sep 7, 2009 9:39 AM
Guest :
Please also read the Newsweek article titled "More Than Just Quirky" After years of doctors with different diagnostic theories, my 20 year old daughter read the article and finally felt like someone understood her. There is a woman doctor in New York City who is currently collecting data on girls and aspergers. If you live in the area, please try to connect with her, so she has more data to draw upon. Unfortunately I can't remember her name. We need to fight for these girls so they are not continually labeled as defiant, or bipolar, or depressed, or anxious, or demanding, borderline personality disorder, etc. etc. Stay focused on your child. Best wishes
Sep 11, 2009 2:09 AM
Guest :
I'm a female who's got asperger syndrome. Was diagnoised at age 13,now going on 19. I say this often; I do not feel ashamed of having asperger's but when id first realised it felt a relief for me and my parents. also realised besides lack in social I find it hard to commit too anyone or anything except if it's obessional, tend to like meeting new people more so; do often question this but is it harder to attract the opposite sex considering its another male trait? because i'm clashing with guys more than other girls.
Nov 2, 2009 3:56 PM
Guest :
Speaking as a 27 year old female with diagnosed AS, I have to say that this article is a blessing, to be honest. Not for me - I know what I have and how to deal with it - but for the rest of the world who still don't seem to realise that yes, girls can have AS too. It's just not picked up on because we HIDE.
My mother worried I had some eating disorder or was diabetic because I never gain weight easily (because of the fact AS people have more adrenalin than average, we think) and I'm fussy about food (because of tastes/textures, many of which dislikes I've overcome now but still cannot watch rice cook even though it's my favourite food).
As a child, I liked to dress my dolls, but not really play with them. However, I did a LOT of creative play - I just shied away from the "mums and dads" games and discarded the dolls in favour of non-human play objects. My creative games were very inventive generally - from zombie raids to running a railway company. I have a younger sister and we often played together so its not always a case of alone time (I have an awesome relationship with my sister even now - she is not Aspie.)
I love to write stories and I was identified 'creative' and 'imaginative' and I believe most Aspie girls are both of these from the ones I have met. We're just creative/imaginative in a way parents/associates don't expect. My work colleagues consider me quirky or random but that's okay with me. I'm also very keen on languages and I'm sure it's because I've had to work to communicate much harder than most kids since childhood.
Basically AS has a lot of negative hype associated with it - not all of which is true - thanks to the mostly male diagnoses defining the 'disability'. Girl aspies are different and this article explains many of those differences very nicely. We do adapt and learn, most of us, to 'hide' but the problem with 'hiding' is the risk of losing yourself and not being able to reach out and trust.
Perhaps with more articles like this and more information about girls with AS, that situation will change and we'll be able to be open about ourselves instead of immediately feeling/being devalued as a person the moment the information comes out. Aspie kids are bright and sensitive enough to know when someone's belittling them. Our senses - ALL of them, plus emotions - are more sensitive than most people. It's a matter of expression, not understanding or impassivity. This is simply a fact the wider world has yet to understand.
Nov 28, 2009 8:51 AM
Guest :
i am sure i have aspergers and currently having depression for few mths off and on. People who do not understand me will think that i like to seek attention. I am a female and self diagnose. I was forced to mix with different types of people. I get overloaded and had a meltdown which was very unpleasant and I cried.. No one around me knows about aspergers. They say I am not sociable. I was misunderstood..
Dec 11, 2009 10:45 AM
Guest :
I'm 70 next year and all my life have been the odd girl out, the "professor", the "weirdo". It's nice to have a name for it, and this article, though brief, certainly fits my personal experience. Social life has always been uphill all the way for me, and marginal at best. No wonder I prefer cats to humans, really.
Jan 6, 2010 9:28 AM
Guest :
i knew there was something differant about my oldest daughter befor she was boarn. She was more active as she grew like she didnot like the tight quarters. When she was boarn she hated to be swaddled. She would kick and cry untill she was loosly covered and then sleep. her head was so sensitive she would fling her arms and knock off her hat. i am not joking. from birth she had to focus realy hard to communicate her needs. we were lucky that i was incharge. i noticed her reactions to touch, sounds, light, texture, temp, etc. she was beyond normal for intellegence and physical growth charts. her social skills were mostly behind by 4 months to 1 month by the standards in books i had. The doctors did not listen or thought i was lying. and her physical health was fantastic; she was sick only 2 times untill she was about 2 and a half. She is smart and loving and kind. She is nieve and looks for the good in every one. she is non violent unless she feels backed in a corner. When she experiances that (school!) it will take a while befor she lashes out. but once she does she unleashed her fury of awful treatment. i heared about autism speeks adds and did not look it up because i had no idea that she fit the spectrum. as i learn more, i see that my mother fits it to a tee. she is auspi. i recognise a bit of the same in me. my yongest daughter fits some of the discription as well but she is more interested in learning the social rules. my son is showing symtomes as well of some autism -- which one i don't know yet. We are in oklahoma and i am having a hard time with thier schools, special ed, and the medical professions recognising what these sympomes mean. i was getting desperate when i found a councelor from edmond who gently pointed me to the internet and there she was. Aspergers disccribed my little girl so well i fealt relieved that i finally had a name for all the hard ships and difficulties we all have been going through. i am still batteling the schools and getting the diagnosis that is correct. she is suffering depression, anxiety, and thoughts of suiside from the public (and now private)schools' incompatancies and thier ignoirances. i am no longer in need of anxiety and depression pills my self because i know what is needed and what to do. i see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. this article was moderately helpful---but the comments are more helpful. thanks every one. and good luck to us all. never give up, never!
Jan 22, 2010 5:55 AM
Guest :
motor coordination is all of a sudden "common" in aspergers? You sure you're not talking about autism spectrum disorders /besides/ aspergers? I have aspergers and am probably the highest function person you'd ever meet with it if you knew me. I experience one symptom, repetitive motion (No, don't believe anyone, it's not hand flapping, I've heard of one case of hand flapping and that's from a special ed teacher.) my mom gets me all these stupid worthless services that don't do anything besides let me get to Guitar Center every week. I'm completely normal. And all I want is to be considered normal, not like some unhealthy nut with some cruel uncurable disease, seriously. And, narrow interests? Well, I am really high functioning, but I have a TON of interests, especially in art. I'm a musician, draw, love animals (And hate astronomy, contrary to most boys.), love music, have an intense interest in debating evolution, which is not science, in favor of Creation (The only logical method of the universe existing, especially with entropy.) and have many "normal" interests, such as weapons. ( :-) ), computers, medieval times (Not sure if it's common, however, it is among all our close friends.) etc. By the way, I play guitar, acoustic and electric, which I've been told a few time to turn the amp down, I don't mind loud noises, especially music, I truend the stereo up once so loud our parents and the rest of the Boy Scout committee could hear it faintly outside. The stereo's in the basement. Thusly, I am mostly normal, and I hate how everyone seems to think all I (At least me, at most practically everyone else with aspergers.) want is care and to be treated as with we're very different, when all I want is to be treated the same. I hate it how my parents take stupid advice from books not intended to help someone like me's parents and like, tell me what we're doing beforehand etc. Oh, and, my socialization is like a normal shy kid's, avoiding talking to them even if you want to until they talk first/whatever. See, I'm normal and if youi wrote a thing on boys with aspergers, it probably wouldn't apply to me. (At least it mostly wouldn't apply, at most it wouldn't.)
Feb 8, 2010 4:37 PM
Guest :
I'm 14 with AS and I am exactly like that! I get obsessed with things and have bad social skills. This helped me understand.
13 Comments
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